As the words of truth have begun to seep out of hiding deep inside your soul a transformation will begin to unfold. Like a caterpillar a hard chrysalis will begin to form around you and your life shielding you and protecting you for a season of waiting which leads to transformation.
Waiting is one of the hardest season one will face in life. Like groundhogs day it seems like things will never change or develop. Last year I found myself in perpetual numbing…day and night trying to drown the pain out not knowing when or if the desire to numb would eventually fade.
Nothing happens over night; like a caterpillar waiting to get her wings we must submit to waiting in the darkness all alone with God. No pastor speaking from a pulpit directing our path. No ministry leader encouraging us to grow. No one but, you and God waiting in the dark for the transformation to take place. In the waiting He will give you strength to slowly let your old self strip away bringing new life into becoming.
All waiting comes at a cost. Friends will give up on you. Family will wonder when your self sabotaging antics will end. Others will condemn and gossip however; Father God will NEVER leave your side and He will slowly begin to break your outer shell that you have been hiding under.
Let the old self go.
Let the addiction fade.
Let the need to perform vanish.
Did you know in order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly it liquefies itself within the chrysalis?
A caterpillar MUST un-become before it can be made new!!
Last year I found myself holding on moment by moment to God in order to just survive. The thought of thriving was too much for me to even tangibly grasp a hold of in the midst of much pain.
When the word RISE came to mind this year I was pregnant with anticipation for what was to become…again, I should have guessed there would be more waiting before the rising. Like a butterfly I, to need to un-become or liquefy in order to grow wings and fly free.
The processing of all this change can be daunting and yet, the alternative is to stay stuck in the muck of despair, self-loathing and frustration.
Release the pain.
Release the anger.
Release and surrender to un-becoming.
Today, I am letting go of my need to be picture perfect. I am letting go of my need for approval. I am letting go of my desire to always be right. I am letting go of relationships that are laced with obligation and guilt. I am letting go in hopes of shedding the outer shell of who I am in order to become who I was created to be by God.
I have no clue where this year will take me but, I am holding on to the hope that He will give me wings to RISE and become…and He can and will do the same thing for you my friend!
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